The Runner's Numb

We’ve all heard of the ‘Runner’s High’.  We know of it, we seek it, and occasionally we reach it.  I’ve been there a few times, and it’s a beautiful thing.

Describing it is difficult, especially to someone that doesn’t run.  I defer to Pink Floyd for a lyric that captures it well:

“There’s no sensation to compare with this, suspended animation, a state of bliss”

Well said Mr. Floyd, or as we friends like to call him … Pink.

Injuries have become an unfortunate recurring theme in my marathon routine, and they have recalibrated the ‘high’ I seek when running.  It’s actually now something that I think of as the ‘Runner’s Numb’.  Fleeting running moments when nothing hurts, nothing aches, each step isn’t analyzed for issues.  When my body declares a momentary truce and the sailing is smooth.  Over the course of the last year or so this sensation has become increasingly rare.  I’m rehabbing from a variety of leg issues right now, so it would seem this wouldn’t be the ideal ‘Numb Season’.  Sunday didn’t agree.

My run started off with the usual tightness and soreness in my hip, knee, and feet, plus some tenderness in my left calf, which is a new present to me from my lower body.  No sharp pain, so I kept going.  I picked a loop just over 4 miles – technically longer than I should be running right now, but still within reason.  At about the 3 mile mark it all clicked.  The head bone connected to the foot bone, and nothing in between put up any resistance.  There was even a good song on the iPod.  Sweet, glorious numbness.

By the time I finished the assorted parts were angry again, but the memory from mile 3 burrowed into my brain and reminded me how it could feel.  How it should feel.  Much like the one good golf shot that gets you back on the course the next time despite the hundred bad ones you sprayed all over the course.

I’m backing off a little on the running to stay focused on my therapy and recovery, but it’s much easier to do this when you know you could run but make the choice to limit the running.  I will not fall into the trap of running more than I should now and breaking down again.  I’m not looking at a race until November, so I need to be patient.  Yes, I’m trying to convince myself of this as I type.  Sure hope it’s working. 

Sending out some strong mojo to Chris over at BQ or Die for his marathon this weekend.  I’m pulling hard for the BQ, since the alternative would significantly cut down on his blog postings, and would be messy for the race clean-up crew.  You stay classy San Diego.

That first step, it's a doozy

2010 has been largely about running injuries so far. I strained my left calf the first week in January, and dealt with that for the next 3 months leading up to my first marathon. Since the marathon I’ve been dealing with IT Band and tendonitis issues in my right knee. The calf issue stuck around so long it eventually became white noise, and was just part of the training. The knee appears to be on the mend, and hopefully will continue to fade into the background as well. One thing these injuries have done is make every run, particularly the start of every run, a little daily lottery for me.

I can remember as a much younger runner that I would throw on shorts, a t-shirt, and some shoes, head outside, and just start running. Usually also had my bright yellow Sports Walkman in my hand – many of you probably had one of these beauties as well – with some sort of mix tape to keep me entertained. There was very little ‘think’ or worry, mostly just the ‘do’ of running. That was the beauty of jogging and what kept me engaged, no drive to the gym, no crowds to work through, and limited planning-ahead involved. Just open the door and go ….. and then come back.

Once my calf got injured, and now with my knee giving me the business, the first step of every run holds a certain excitement/dread as I never quite know what I’m going to get. With my calf, some days the first step would just feel tight, and I could get to a normal stride pretty quickly and feel confident that the run would be fairly uneventful. Some days it would be tight and sore, and I’d end up limping through the first mile or so, eventually getting to a normal stride, and knowing that regardless of how much ice, or The Stick, or massage followed the run, my leg would be angry for a few days to come. Fortunately I only once took that first step and realized that would be the last step for the day because the pain was just too much to risk completely blowing my shot at the race. Regardless, every time that first step was a mystery waiting to unfold.

The reason I bring this up today is that since getting my therapist’s blessing last Wednesday to slowly return to the world of the running I’ve run on Thursday (2.3 mi), Saturday (3.1 mi), and this morning (2.5 mi). Since it has become part of the subconscious routine, and since I’m overly dialed-in to every nuance of how my knee feels, the first step is once again filled with dread and anticipation. Put on my assorted gear this morning, walked a bit for a warmup while my Garmin searched the heavens for satellites, fired up some Train on the iPod, took the first step and ….. nothing. No pain, no tightness, no soreness, no limp, nothing from my calf, nothing from my knee …. just the feeling of foot hitting pavement and insoles doing their thing. This held up for about the first .5 mile, at which point I started feeling some tightness in my knee, but for a brief period of time I was reminded of what it all should feel like. My knee is still a work in progress, and I’m still hitting it with ice, stretching, strengthening, rolling, etc., but that collection of strides gave me a brief glimpse into what I hope running will be like again in the future, and made me that much more motivated to keep after the rehab as religiously as possible.

Still not a fan of Mondays, but the Running Gods got this one off to a pretty good start.

A Ray of Light

Wednesday again, which means it was time for my weekly visit to the Physical Therapist. I've been following my stretching and strengthening routines religiously the past week, and was thinking I was seeing some progress in terms of a reduction in the twinges of pain in my knee, but also wondering if I was just trying to convince myself of this rather than actually experiencing it. Regardless, I went for my appointment which started with a 10 minute warmup on the stationary bike, then we rolled through some new strength exercises to add to the regimen (a series of lunges), did some leg manipulation, and then the unexpected happened in the form of a simple question from my therapist ....

"Want to try some running?"

I think I may have flown from the table to the treadmill in a single bound, and next thing I knew I was running again. Nothing strenuous and nothing remarkable, but still, a wonderful little toe in the pool of running again. He checked out my gait to make sure nothing was out of alignment and see if I was favoring anything, and it at least looked good. He let me do a mile, after which we wrapped up the knee in some ice and talked about next steps. Overall it felt OK - no real 'pain', but I could definitely feel the running in my knee, versus before when nothing was ever localized or noticeable. Still doesn't feel quite right, but hopefully that will continue to come with time. Here's what's on tap for the next week:

Strength exercises every other day rather than every day
Stretching regimen once daily versus twice daily
Running (no more than 2 miles) every other day
Ice massage 2x daily, plus ice wrap after running

If nothing is causing pain, and improvement keeps going, today might be my last PT trip. Didn't schedule another one when I left this morning, but we'll see how it goes. Also planning to dive into the world of Yoga this weekend and see what that's all about.

Overall a pretty good start to the day.

Circling the Runway

A couple of weeks into my 'running' blog, and still no running. Added a knee strengthening routine to my flexibility routine as part of my PT this past Wednesday, but still not seeing a breakthrough in pain elimination. Doing the flexibility 2x daily, the strengthening 1x daily, and the foam roller and ice massage 2x daily. Grand total is 2+ hours daily, which is challenging to work into my weekday schedule. Also taping my kneecap to try and adjust the tracking alignment towards the inside of my leg. After removing the tape that the therapist had applied, I quickly broke out the razor and shaved all the hair off my knee. Used to do that all the time on my knees and ankles back when I played competitive sports and had to get taped, so it brought back some memories.

In addition to the PT, I did 30 min on the bike on Thursday, and 30 min on the elliptical on Sunday, neither of which caused me any noticeable pain. Hopefully these options, and some swimming once the pool opens, can keep my fitness level reasonably solid until I'm back running again. I'm not a big fan of indoor aerobic activity - none of the 400+ miles of training for my marathon were on a treadmill - but I'm going to have to learn to love it for a while. Don't necessarily dislike the machines, but I look for any excuse to get outdoors and enjoy some fresh air.

Right after finishing the marathon I had retired one pair of running shoes and bought a new pair that I had found on sale. I had them in the garage with my other shoes waiting to get broken in, but I was doing some cleaning this weekend and sadly I put them back in the box and moved them to the back of my closet. Rather than inspiring me I found them to be amplifying the frustration, so I've taken them out of the equation for now. Finding that Mondays are my peak frustration day, as another weekend passes without any sort of run, after so many weeks of long runs on the weekend. Heading back to the therapist on Wednesday for another progress review, and trying to remain optimistic.

While I was doing my stretches on Sunday morning I caught the last ~45 minutes of Running the Sahara on Showtime. Probably old news to the running community, but I had never heard of it and was fascinated/amazed by it. 111 consecutive days of running, 4300+ miles, the equivalent of around 170 marathons .... absolutely incredible. However, I found myself very disappointed in the attitude and behavior of the main runner Charlie. Clearly it was a very mentally, physically, and emotionally stressful undertaking, but he came across as a bit of a jerk at several points, which is really unfortunate in the grand scheme of the accomplishment and the opportunity to inspire and to promote running. Possibly/hopefully it was just a function of editing, and reflecting the fact that in the midst of all that repetitive running they had to look for the more dramatic moments to keep the story compelling. With the time I've spent reading runners' blogs I've found an incredibly positive, supportive, and caring group of people, and I don't this the movie reflected that larger reality. In any event, I would highly recommend anyone watch the movie, especially if you have an interest in running.

Second visit to the Physical Therapist

Made my second trip to the therapist this morning for a progress review on my ailing knee. Flexibility seems to have improved overall, but still fairly tight. I'm still experiencing pain in the same place as before, and during the same activities, so it looks like I'm still pretty far from being cleared to run again. Today we added a series of strengthening exercises to the stretching exercises, so now I'll be doing therapy 3x daily. Hard to find time to get it all done, but I'll figure it out.

In addition to the stretching and strengthening, I'll be taping my kneecap for the next week to try and force a slight change in alignment, and stretch some of the connectors from the IT Band to the kneecap. It’s a pretty simple x-shaped tape job across the kneecap, pulling it slightly towards the inner part of the knee. I’ve got some pretty ‘wooly’ legs, so taking the tape off should be vaguely reminiscent of Steve Carrell in The 40 Year Old Virgin. Kelly Clarkson!!

Planning to start resuming aerobic activity tomorrow morning, as long as it’s not causing me any pain. No running on the horizon yet, but I should be able to bike and do some elliptical work. Got my yoga DVD in the mail as well, so that should be starting fairly soon. My newly revised plan/wish, so I can try and contain my frustration level, is to resume running once we get into May. That’s not based on anything I’ve been told, or any sort of progress I’m seeing, but it helps me stay focused on a short-term goal, and helps remind me that I’ve still got 6.5 months from the start of May to train for my next marathon, which should be plenty of time. Gotta stay positive.

Me and PT and my angry right knee

Made my first trip to physical therapy today to try and get my knee to rejoin the rest of my body in the quest for marathon number 2. At this point I'd just settle for being able to run again, but have to keep the larger goals on the horizon. Interesting trivia I learned today from my therapist:

- I am indeed as horribly lacking in flexibility as advertised, however, not the worst he's ever seen.

- My IT bands are extremely well defined when my knees are flexed, to the point that "we could take a picture of them for a textbook". Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but the therapist thought it was interesting.

- My vastus medialis (teardrop shaped muscle on inner part of thigh) is also very well defined (another textbook photo opportunity apparently), but noticeably stronger on my left (good) leg than my right.

- My right IT Band is noticeably tighter than my left, but both are much tighter than 'normal'

- My quadriceps, hamstrings, and calves are all below 'normal' in terms of flexibility

- They have a lot of patients that are runners .... go figure

We went through a series of flexibility assessments, followed by some stretching instruction, followed by ultrasound treatment, followed by ice massage. Overall prognosis was pretty good, and the fact that he wasn't appalled by my generally petrified-wood degree of flexibility was a relief. Left with lots of do-it-yourself home stretching exercises to be done twice daily, along with foam roller torture and ice massage. Still no running for another week, at which point we'll have our next session and see how things are progressing. Best case I'm probably 1.5 weeks from trying to run again. In addition to the PT routine, I'm still planning to give yoga a try in the next few days. After some online research I ordered the "Athletes Guide to Yoga" DVD so I can keep the comedy of my first yoga attempts contained within my own home. Don't think the world is yet ready for my unique yoga stylings.